It’s the big night, and you’re feeling pretty lucky. You’re thinking that tonight…it’s going to happen, so everything at your place has to be perfect. You clean up your bedroom, living room, couch and even the kitchen, because who knows where this night might be headed. He’s coming over for the first time to see your place, meet your roommates and hopefully hop in your bed. So, attention men! There are a few things that absolutely drive a girl crazy… and I’m not talking about between the sheets. I’m talking about behaviors that we hope you don’t act out because… two words, TURN OFF.
Come on, you’re the guy! Where’s that “I’m rock-solid” attitude every alpha-male must possess? You need to be in control. If you can’t walk on your own and you’re banging into walls, well that just shows us that all you’d be doing later is banging into things awkwardly, and frankly, no girl looks forward to that punishment.
2. Hogging the remote
Please don’t make me watch Sports Center in my apartment. You have plenty of time at your apartment to watch the Top 10 a gazillion times. When I’m at your place, I can at least pretend that I’m interested in the ridiculousness of sports. So while you’re at my house, watch what I want… even though we know you secretly love to watch The Hills and Vh1 with us. Also, don’t think that just because you’re a boy you can automatically figure out our remote control! If it took us three months to figure it out, it will at least be morning until you unlock the secret of starting the movie.
3. Leaving the seat up
Put the seat down! Yes, it really is that simple. You should make a conscious effort to leave the toilet seat cover just how you found it.
It’s not even like we’re really going to fall in; it’s just the considerate thing to do. A real
man would be so proficient with his aim.
He wouldn’t even have to lift the seat up; he would just be that skilled. A chick’s bathroom is just like her purse… but bigger. It contains her entire life. Messing with her life is not the ideal way to gain access to it.
4. Flirt with my roommates
Seriously now, this just upsets girls to no end. It doesn’t matter if I talk about them all the time. If you are at my apartment in hopes of hooking up with me, please don’t flirt with my friends. Showing me that you’re preoccupied with anything that has two legs is not the way to get between mine. It’s very annoying to have to compete for time when I should automatically be the center of your attention. We understand you’re trying to win over our friends, but flirting with them is not helping your chances of receiving an invite for a sleepover.
5. Expecting us to have condoms
What self-respecting college boy doesn’t carry around condoms, and where can I find him? Just kidding. If you don’t carry condoms on you, how can you expect us to have them? With STD’s so abundant these days, there is
no way unprotected sex is an option. So,
no condom… no below the belt action!
6. Chain smoking cigarettes
First off, ew. Secondly, ew! No one wants
to be kissing an ashtray. When you try to impress somebody, you take a shower or use some cologne or aftershave… you don’t rub gasoline on your clothes or eat an onion. Some things are just complete turn-offs. The only way to help yourself is to use gum, breath mints or anything to get rid of the foul odor. Save your date (and yourself) and leave the pack home for the night.
7. Talking about other girls
We hate them even though we don’t know them… end of the story. She could be your best friend from high school who has been through it all with you, but please, no girl wants to hear you sing her praises. Automatically, every girl will imagine this perfect specimen in your mind that nobody can compare to. And trust me, that’s the end of the night for sure! Girls don’t like to compete against someone they can’t see and somehow potentially sabotage. Crazy I know, but it’s just how girls are, so don’t answer their calls, text them back or talk about them. We want to be your center of attention.
8. Raiding the fridge
Ok, we get it… you’re still a growing boy. But if I wanted to feed you, I would have made you dinner or baked something. Coming over to my place does not initiate a contest to see how quickly you can clean out my side of the fridge. The only reason you should be in my fridge is to see if there is any whip cream left to have a little fun with. Other than that, raiding her fridge is a sure-fire way to get her angry at you, which means you’ll have to spend more money on her in order
to stay out of the danger zone.
9. Take a # 2
Yuck! We know everyone does it, (yes, sadly even girls do it) but it genuinely grosses us out, especially if we haven’t even slept with you yet. Stinking up our bathroom really sucks, and no matter how much you use Febreeze, we’ll know what you did in there. Go before you come over or try your hardest to hold it in. We understand that it’s a natural body movement, but the only body movement of yours we want to be focusing on does not involve the “back-end” of your body.
10. Not making a move
If I’ve invited you over to my place, it’s a green light. Allowing you to see my personal space means that I’m ready to show you my personal space. If you know a girl likes you and you come over, make a damn move! Come on boys, would it kill you to show some affection? Take the lead; we all know you secretly love to cuddle. So go for it; dive right in.
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