At no other time during the year are coworkers expected to show up at the office, get drunk and become Monday morning water cooler fodder then at the company Christmas party. It’s like the boss saying, “Tomorrow night I want you all to dress nice, get drunk and work out some of that sexual tension that’s been floating around the office”. It’s like a one-night office hunting season.

Now, any novice with a few canned lines and a steady supply of martinis can convince just about anyone to go home with them and do the nasty. However, unless you’re Hank Moody, convincing someone to stay at the office during the party and polish the boardroom table is quite a daunting task. Here are a few tips to help make scoring at your company Christmas party a little more manageable.

1. Don’t Get Hammered

A sure-fire way to ensure you won’t be getting an early Christmas present is to get “I’m invisible” drunk. Pace yourself and slow down once you feel a little more suave and debonair than usual. Get to the point where you have no qualms about letting Christy from accounting catch you checking her out.

2. Choose Your Target

Chances are there’s someone at the office with whom you have an unspoken mutual attraction. If not, pick someone who would never guess you have a thing for them. Maybe it’s the scenester girl from the design department or the new guy from shipping. The extra element of surprise will pique their sense of adventure. Either way, wait until they’ve reached the same level of, um…”confidence” that you have and start spittin’ some game.

3. Close The Deal

Provided your game is better than an 8th grader’s and you’ve gotten as physically close as you can in public, you can drop my go-to Sex Panther line, “Let’s get out of here” (60 percent of the time, it works every time.). Girls can be a little more straightforward with something such as, “Hey, let’s go have sex in the bathroom”.

4. Pick Your Place

Although spontaneity makes things super hot and sexy, it will also get you busted if someone walks in on you. Do some premeditating and commandeer a room that’s away from the party and can be locked from the inside. Bathrooms are nice if they have a waist-high counter but the coup de gras is the boardroom. Stay away from the boss’ desk unless you ARE the boss, are doing the boss or don’t care about getting fired.

5. Make It Quick

You’ve only got a few minutes before people notice you’re both gone and start putting two and two together. Shoes, shirts, skirts and bras take time to take off so they all stay on. Just free up the important parts and take care of business. This is scoring, not love making.

6. Make Your Re-entry

Nothing announces a party hook-up like two people wandering back to the party together 15 minutes later all flushed and missing their drinks. It looks less suspicious if the girl goes back first and then the guy shows up later from a different direction. Continue where everyone saw you leave off and depending on what time it is you can either negotiate round two or start scoping out your next score.