→ March 1, 2010
After the World Wars, doctors found new disorders and afflictions that changed the psychological makeup of an entire country. Now, in the age of Internet, our society is once again plagued by newborn personality disorders that keep popping up like pimples on a middle schooler.
But there’s no need to trek down the Information Superhighway without [...]
→ February 11, 2010
As with skinning cats, there’s more than one way to shake a man’s hand. However, most of the way s you can shake a man’s hand aren’t manly at all. Actually they’re all either really creepy, annoying or just plain sissified. Here are some of the most prevalent bad handshaking methods.
The Dead Fish
This is when [...]
→ January 7, 2010
They say nobody likes a quitter. Well, nobody likes a little Mr. or Ms. Try-Hard either. They make the rest of us regular quasi-lazy people look bad. That’s why when every year one of your friends’ guilty consciences tells them they should resolve to be a better person for the next year, you should make [...]
→ December 30, 2009
Submitted By: Ami Gavarian
Men across the planet – nay, the galaxy – are unanimously infatuated with breasts. Even gay dudes can’t keep from staring at a voluptuous pair of T-shirt melons as they bounce gloriously up and down the street. But somehow guys have managed to ignore the very boob before their eyes. Yes, I’m [...]
→ December 30, 2009
By Brian Hodges - (The homeless guy who lives in the woods behind our office)
By now, everyone knows that the Mayan calendar is set to end in 2012, which means either A) the world is going to end or B) Roland Emmerich will get to destroy even more famous buildings in yet another over-the-top doomsday [...]
→ December 22, 2009
Submitted By: John Edward Scheck
Folks, we have terrible news. There is a war on Christmas. Instead of letting “them” take Christmas away from “us,” we decided to take action.
By trying to scientifically prove the existence of Christmas, we think we can coerce retailers into once again greeting shoppers with “Merry Christmas” instead of the politically [...]
→ December 17, 2009
Bring on the big and the beautiful, because it’s officially holiday season. We’ll all be at our peak weight (“peak” meaning top of the scales) and (still) horny as ever, so it’s completely logical to validate why bigger is better this holiday season. Thus, here’s why you should look past that extra love handle, [...]
→ December 16, 2009
It’s easy to say you don’t believe in a higher being when there’s nothing on the line. But let a sexy coed pass you by on campus and you’ll be praising Jah’s name more than an entire album of Bob Marley. You know it’s true. And don’t think you can backtrack now… you’ve already got [...]
→ December 11, 2009
Scenario 1: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1969 – Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 – Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 2: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him [...]
→ December 9, 2009
Unlike the rest of us, nerds don’t get off from steamy sex videos and sultry strippers strutting their stuff on stage. No, they require a totally different set of stimuli to reach what we affectionately call “nerdgasms.” If any of these things turn you on, you might want to reconsider your ranking on the social [...]