→ December 9, 2010
I’m a senior and my sister is just finishing her first semester at the same school as me. I keep trying to give her advice, but she thinks she knows everything about college life. How can I teach her a lesson? Angie
Here’s what you do: take her to a party, give her a Dixie [...]
→ November 15, 2010
Holla Atchya Boy, Frank!
I been tryin’ to get at your for a minute, son. Where you at most weeknights? I been tryin’ to flag you down like whoa! Pick a homie up, ya heard?! Charles
I’m surprised your name wasn’t something like P-Nizzle with a letter like that. I think less than 10% of that was [...]
→ October 19, 2010
Why won’t my boyfriend ever drink responsibly when we go out? Every night it’s the same thing – chug a bottle at home during the pre-party, then order 10 drinks at the club and make an ass of himself in front of everyone. What gives? Holly
My guess? It probably has a lot to do [...]
→ September 27, 2010
For the past nineteen years he’s been the master behind every scream. Now, he finally takes control to reign over a new age of darkness –– and the thing you most have to fear is… FEAR himself! The nation’s premier annual Halloween event takes terror to a whole new level as you experience Halloween Horror [...]
→ September 20, 2010
Frank the Cab Driver: Social Commentator/Advice Columnist
As a man of the night, what’s your favorite late-night munchie food? Since you work in a college town, there’s got to be a few favorites you’ve accrued over the years.
What? Just ‘cause I’m fat, you think I’m a munchies connoisseur? Well, you’re right… I am. Nothing beats [...]
→ August 27, 2010
From magical spells to magical creatures, from dark villains to daring heroes, it’s all here at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™. Hold on tight, kids, because we’re about to take 11 lucky winners for a ride through The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™! We’ve teamed up with Universal Orlando® to provide the winners and [...]
→ August 10, 2010
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
Excellent! Another pseudo-intellectual hippie douche coming to college thinking he’s the next big revolutionary poet/vegan chef. Just to clarify… nobody on campus is going to acknowledge your pitiful attempt at getting attention, and no girl will sleep with you [...]
→ July 13, 2010
I was mowing my parents’ lawn and somehow got poison ivy. I am a complete itchy mess. Any advice on how to get through this personal hell?
Get on some good steroids. DO NOT scratch then touch your wiener.
FRANK FACT: Frank is immune to poison ivy. He once ate a leaf of it on [...]
→ June 23, 2010
My girlfriend still lives with her parents, and I have five roommates. We can never seem to find any “alone time,” so when we want to get busy we usually end up doing it in the back seat of my car. You spend a lot of time in your car, so I figure you’re [...]
→ May 14, 2010
Frank, My Man!
I’m leaving school this year and always wanted to tell you how much I hate you. You suck. Good riddance, fat slob.
Well, I can only assume you’re either someone I slept with and never called back or the president of the on-campus feminist movement. Whichever one you are, thanks for the shout [...]