For the past nineteen years he’s been the master behind every scream. Now, he finally takes control to reign over a new age of darkness –– and the thing you most have to fear is… FEAR himself! The nation’s premier annual Halloween event takes terror to a whole new level as you experience Halloween Horror [...]
From magical spells to magical creatures, from dark villains to daring heroes, it’s all here at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™. Hold on tight, kids, because we’re about to take 11 lucky winners for a ride through The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™! We’ve teamed up with Universal Orlando® to provide the winners and [...]
Yo Frankie! How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Mikey Excellent! Another pseudo-intellectual hippie douche coming to college thinking he’s the next big revolutionary poet/vegan chef. Just to clarify… nobody on campus is going to acknowledge your pitiful attempt at getting attention, and no girl will sleep with you [...]
Hey Frank, I was mowing my parents’ lawn and somehow got poison ivy. I am a complete itchy mess. Any advice on how to get through this personal hell? Duane Get on some good steroids. DO NOT scratch then touch your wiener. FRANK FACT: Frank is immune to poison ivy. He once ate a leaf of it on [...]
Frank, My girlfriend still lives with her parents, and I have five roommates. We can never seem to find any “alone time,” so when we want to get busy we usually end up doing it in the back seat of my car. You spend a lot of time in your car, so I figure you’re [...]
Frank, My Man! I’m leaving school this year and always wanted to tell you how much I hate you. You suck. Good riddance, fat slob. Dee Dee Well, I can only assume you’re either someone I slept with and never called back or the president of the on-campus feminist movement. Whichever one you are, thanks for the shout [...]
Dear Frank, Could you please tell every guy out there to STOP bathing in cologne? Talk about being counterproductive! If your scent gives me a headache from across the room, there’s no way I’m letting you close enough to kiss me. Darlene Sure, I’ll tell them… so long as I can tell you girls to please understand [...]
It’s time for the first big Campus Talk contest of the semester. This time we’ve teamed up with Universal Studios to send a few good coeds to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando to get the crap scared out of them. The prizes are great and entering the contest is so easy a Freshman could do [...]
Frank, I can tell that my boyfriend is fantasizing about someone else while we’re having sex. It’s really starting to bug me; I tell him to look at me but he constantly closes his eyes. What can I do to become to object of his desires? H.F. Hmm. How about plastic surgery and [...]
Frank, Last week my boyfriend and I got into a terrible fight: lots of yelling, screaming, slamming doors and cursing. This was the biggest fight we ever had. Two hours later we made up and it was amazing. The sex was unbelievable. I still get the shakes when I think about it. I’ve always [...]
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