→ September 2, 2010
For the past nineteen years he’s been the master behind every scream. Now, he finally takes control to reign over a new age of darkness –– and the thing you most have to fear is… FEAR himself! The nation’s premier annual Halloween event takes terror to a whole new level as you experience Halloween Horror [...]
→ August 27, 2010
From magical spells to magical creatures, from dark villains to daring heroes, it’s all here at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™. Hold on tight, kids, because we’re about to take 11 lucky winners for a ride through The Wizarding World of Harry Potter™! We’ve teamed up with Universal Orlando® to provide the winners and [...]
→ August 10, 2010
Yo Frankie!
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
Mikey
Excellent! Another pseudo-intellectual hippie douche coming to college thinking he’s the next big revolutionary poet/vegan chef. Just to clarify… nobody on campus is going to acknowledge your pitiful attempt at getting attention, and no girl will sleep with you [...]
→ July 13, 2010
Hey Frank,
I was mowing my parents’ lawn and somehow got poison ivy. I am a complete itchy mess. Any advice on how to get through this personal hell?
Duane
Get on some good steroids. DO NOT scratch then touch your wiener.
FRANK FACT: Frank is immune to poison ivy. He once ate a leaf of it on [...]
→ June 23, 2010
Frank,
My girlfriend still lives with her parents, and I have five roommates. We can never seem to find any “alone time,” so when we want to get busy we usually end up doing it in the back seat of my car. You spend a lot of time in your car, so I figure you’re [...]
→ May 14, 2010
Frank, My Man!
I’m leaving school this year and always wanted to tell you how much I hate you. You suck. Good riddance, fat slob.
Dee Dee
Well, I can only assume you’re either someone I slept with and never called back or the president of the on-campus feminist movement. Whichever one you are, thanks for the shout [...]
→ November 24, 2009
Dear Frank,
Could you please tell every guy out there to STOP bathing in cologne? Talk about being counterproductive! If your scent gives me a headache from across the room, there’s no way I’m letting you close enough to kiss me.
Darlene
Sure, I’ll tell them… so long as I can tell you girls to please understand [...]
→ September 1, 2009
It’s time for the first big Campus Talk contest of the semester. This time we’ve teamed up with Universal Studios to send a few good coeds to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando to get the crap scared out of them. The prizes are great and entering the contest is so easy a Freshman could do [...]
→ August 26, 2009
Frank,
I can tell that my boyfriend is fantasizing about someone else while we’re having sex. It’s really starting to bug me; I tell him to look at me but he constantly closes his eyes. What can I do to become to object of his desires?
H.F.
Hmm. How about plastic surgery and [...]
→ August 19, 2009
Frank,
Last week my boyfriend and I got into a terrible fight: lots of yelling, screaming, slamming doors and cursing. This was the biggest fight we ever had. Two hours later we made up and it was amazing. The sex was unbelievable. I still get the shakes when I think about it. I’ve always [...]