For the past nineteen years he’s been the master behind every scream. Now, he finally takes control to reign over a new age of darkness –– and the thing you most have to fear is… FEAR himself! The nation’s premier annual Halloween event takes terror to a whole new level as you experience Halloween Horror [...]
Teacher: “Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?” Nick: “What do you think it is, Sir?” Teacher: “I don’t think, I KNOW!” Nick: “I don’t think I know either, Sir!” Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: It doesn’t matter how many… they’ll all veto changing it in the first [...]
Q: What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man? A: A bachelor comes home, sees what’s in the refrigerator, then goes to bed. A married man comes home, sees what’s in the bed, then goes to the refrigerator. Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: [...]
Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover? A: A rash of good luck. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. A member of the United States Senate, known for [...]
One evening, a young woman came home from a date rather sad. She told her mother, “Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. “Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell!” Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. [...]
A lecturer teaching medicine was telling his class about the utter importance of being observant at all times. He then took out a jar full of yellow liquid and announced to the class that is was full of urine. “To be successful in this field, you must be observant to sight, touch, smell and even taste,” [...]
How come there aren’t B batteries? In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? How is it possible to have a civil war? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer? How can there be self-help “groups”? How do you throw away a garbage can? Is a metaphor like a [...]
College is a unique experience unlike any other phase in your life. But the sensory overload of endless partying and complete autonomy makes it difficult to pick up on the little nuances that make college so special and distinctive. Well, here’s a little help to remind you that, yes, you’re actually [...]
When “being yourself” keeps leading you home alone, it’s time to try some of our fail-safe pickup lines. Drop these on some hottie and you’ll be doing the horizontal polka instead of playing pocket pool in no time! Is that top felt? (no) would you like it to be? Apart from being sexy, what do you do [...]
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, and their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – ‘Take a clean dish.’” [...]
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