If last night was so epic you need pictures to remember it, then chances are you have an equally epic hangover this morning. I mean seriously, why else would you be scouring the Internet for a hangover cure before noon on a Saturday?

Not to worry. Between all the lushes who work in the Campus Talk office we’ve amassed the single greatest collection of hangover cures know to man. We will dispense these snake oil remedies one-by-one each week in the hopes that we may make the world a better place one dry heave at a time.

Here’s a little ditty I learned back in ‘98 when I was a waiter at Applebee’s bar and grill. It came in real handy every Sunday during the brunch shift when all uber happy family-types would bounce in with their hyper-ass kids at 10 am. So listen up food service employees. You’ll benefit the most from this concoction.

I call it “The Coca-Coffee“.

1. Take a coffee cup and fill it half way with the strongest, blackest coffee you can find.
2. Next add about 5 packs of sugar or Sweet n’ Low.
3. Stir it and make sure the sugar has dissolved.
4. Finally, go over to the soda fountain and fill the rest of the cup with Coke.
5. Slam the entire thing as quickly as you can. Don’t worry, the cold Coke will balance out the hot coffee so you won’t burn yourself.

The rush of sugar and caffeine will wake you up and get your blood pumping thus easing your headache, while the syrup from the Coke will actually soothe any stomach discomfort you may have. The only problem with this remedy is that like actual Cocaine, the effects are short-lived. In about an hour you’ll be back to feeling like a big bucket of assholes again.

My advice is drink lots of water and drink another Coca-Coffee every hour until you don’t feel your hangover creeping back after about an hour. This drink is more or less like jet fuel that keeps you going until your body can rehydrate via the water your drinking between doses.