The Car Loan

A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says ‘I’ve got a 1930 Auburn Boattail Speedster, keep it until the loan is paid off - here are the keys.’

Six months later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $200 loan, plus $10 in interest, and regains possession of the Auburn.
The loan officer asks him, ‘Sir, if I many ask, why would a man who drives such an expensive classic car need to borrow two hundred dollars?’
The man answers, ‘I had to go to Europe for six months, and where else could I store a classic car for that long for ten dollars?’

The Delicacy

After his day’s sightseeing, an American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant.  While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?” The waiter replied, “ Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull’s balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!” The American, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of the dish said, “What the hell, I’m on vacation!  Bring me an order!”

The waiter replied, “I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving a day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order,
we will be sure to serve you this delicacy!”

The next morning the American returned and placed his order. That evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.  After a few bites, and inspecting
the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, “These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!”

The waiter promptly replied, “Si, senor!” Sometimes the bull wins!

Little Johnny

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go to the principals office, he was to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. “I thought I told you to call your mom”, she screamed. I did”, he said, “And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’s come and pick me up from school. . . “