They say getting axed at your job builds character over the long haul of your professional career. Bullcrap! All it does is lighten your wallet and skyrocket your blood pressure as you worry about paying bills on time and finding a new gig that doesn’t require you to perform one – or seven – illegal activities. Of course, there are always a few exceptions to that rule. You might’ve heard of them…

Jerry Seinfeld

Before he became a one-name global icon with the likes of Madonna, Pele and God, Seinfeld was a two-bit recurring actor on a seriously unfunny sitcom called Benson. When he showed up for rehearsal one day, he couldn’t find his copy of the script. It was then that the entire production staff remembered they had fired him… only no one had passed the news along to Seinfeld, himself. Completely embarrassed, the comedian promised to never get involved with another sitcom unless he’d have a much larger role in the creative process. Or until he met a neurotic, bald Jew whose name rhymed with Harry Mavid.

Howard Stern

Some success stories take a while to realize because the protagonist is a complete horn dog with a penchant for saying the grossest thing at the worst possible moment. As you could imagine, Howard Stern’s shtick of offending anything and everything in the universe didn’t go over so well with some of his earlier radioland pit stops. Among his numerous firings, Stern counts WNBC as the biggest of them all. What else would you expect when you do a bit called “Bestiality Dial-A-Date” live on the air? A $70 million-a-year contract with Sirius, of course…

Michael Bloomberg

Here’s a bit of inspiration for us all! Mr. Bloomberg proved to everyone that you can get downsized from your high-level, cushy job and still bounce back to become one of the 10 richest people on the planet, as well as mayor of New York. Yes, in 1981, Bloomberg was canned from Salomon Brothers during buyouts. Instead of diving back into another investment firm giant, The ‘Berg put his cash into a wildcard idea that turned into a $25 billion mega-company called Bloomberg L.P. And just in case those bastards at Salomon Brothers want to forget about their egregious error, Bloomberg has his own TV network on air 24/7 to remind them.

Bill Belichick

Hey, not only can you get fired and make a Hall of Fame career for yourself… you can get caught cheating and still make out like a legend! Bill Belichick is the epitome of the American Dream. He got shitcanned from his brief head coaching stint for the worst franchise in the league in Cleveland and managed to turn that into three Super Bowl victories and one Spygate in New England. Meanwhile, Cleveland has tried to make up for their boneheaded decision by hiring as many ex-Belichick disciples as they can get their greasy hands on. Their past two head coaches were New England’s previous two defensive coordinators, Romeo Crennel and Eric Mangini, respectively.