By Chad Squitieri
October is here which means midterms have come to town. Unlike final exams, which most students plan for throughout the semester, midterms seem to sneak up suddenly. One day it’s the first week of class and you’re going over the syllabus, and a few weeks later all the reading you have been postponing has suddenly stacked up and the midterm is staring you down. Fortunately, if you have paid attention a little in a few lectures and know how to take a test, you should make out fine.
I DON’T SEE IT
Math class exams are generally the hardest to get a decent grade on if you haven’t been keeping up with the assignments. Your middle school track coach that always was telling you “practice makes perfect” was actually right. Fortunately, even if you have been slacking in the homework department, you happen to read Campus Talk, so don’t sweat it. For all of the questions that ask you to “find x,” simply do not bubble in an answer at all. After the exam is graded inform your teacher that you assumed they were all trick questions because the only letters to choose from on the answer sheet were A, B, C, and D while X was clearly not to be found. If there are enough questions like this on the exam you should be able to make out with at least a B.
FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN LECTURES AGO
History exams tend to include a lot of long written responses, which can be fairly tricky if you often find yourself confusing presidents with fictional characters such as Uncle Sam. The only clear way to ace a history test for which you are not prepared, is to outsmart the professor. It is going to take some creativity, but do your best to make up history as you go along. For questions such as “name a major event that changed American economics in the 20th century,” reply with a dazzling tale of some unsung hero you made up on the spot. When your professor comes around to grading your responses, they will probably not want to admit that they don’t know what historical event you are talking about, so they will just assume you know best and give you an A.
SCIENCE IS EVERYWHERE
Remember what your science teachers used to tell you when you were growing up to excite you about the lessons, “Science is everywhere!” Turns out they were right; science is everywhere, especially on television. If you find yourself with an exam in a few hours, the best idea is to spend that time watching the shark programs on the Discovery channel. You would be amazed at the science you pick up after a few half hour episodes.
If any of the above methods fail, but let’s be honest, they are pretty fool proof, you could always decide to just turn to good old-fashioned studying. Contrary to contemporary belief, reading a book from time to time may not kill you.
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