By Ami Gavarian
…he would always give you an orgasm.
…he would never accidentally fart on you while you were sleeping.
…he would go see every chick flick with you and never force you to see a Rambo film as reciprocation.
…he would always let you watch Grey’s Anatomy and Project Runway instead of sports and 24.
…he wouldn’t take you to an all-you-can-eat wings and beer joint for date night.
…you wouldn’t ever have to tell him “Hey, it happens to lots of guys…”
…he would be programmed to remember important dates, like your birthday and anniversary.
…he would always give you an orgasm. Did we mention that one already?
…he wouldn’t get drunk and continuously try to slap your ass in public.
…he would actually pay attention to you when you complained to him about your bitchy girlfriends, rather than feigning concern and secretly thinking about his fantasy football team.Share this Post[?]