There’s a saying that when you break up with someone, it takes half the time you were together to get over that person. Well, from personal experience, I’ve proven that to be wrong. No one ever said that because you just broke up with your girl/boyfriend you have to mope around the house like some loser. Take this chance to start your search all over again. Granted, you probably wont find that perfect match on your first night out, but that just gives you time to play the field and see what’s out there.
The first thing to do is dispose of any evidence from your previous relationship. The meaningless memorabilia will just cause you to think about that person and make things worse. You broke up with this person for a reason, so why would you want to have things lying around that make you think about him or her? You don’t have to throw everything away and act as if the last year of your life never existed, though. That shoebox you just got when you spent $65 on that pair of sneakers you had to have will act as a great storage container that you can hide in the back of your closet.
Next, a nice wardrobe makeover can help repair the damages. Go shopping. Sometimes, when you date someone for too long, you get too comfortable. This means you resort to wearing that ugly pair of gray sweat pants and the hoodie from your high school that you just couldn’t stand to part with. Spice up your wardrobe with some new clothes that you can turn around and wear out tonight.
After you’ve rid your life of your past and bought for your future, go out. You’re never going to meet someone new if you stay curled up on your couch watching The Real World every night. Take those new clothes you bought for a night out on the town. Get some friends together and party like there’s no tomorrow. You no longer have to report to anyone. You can go to the club or party and don’t have to worry about bringing your significant other along.
Flying solo at some of the nightclubs for a while is exactly what you need. Brace yourself, though, because there are plenty of single people out there doing the same thing. When that someone walks up to you and asks you to dance, do it. See and be seen. That’s your goal right now, so take advantage of the single life and hit up all the hot spots in town.
Take my advice and don’t tie yourself down right away. The best thing about being single is that you can do what you want, when you want, with whomever you want. If you end up taking a year or so off from the serious relationship scene, even better. Take that time to find out what you’re really looking for by testing the water. Don’t be worried when you’re bringing home a different person every weekend. Now people will actually consider you a normal college student living the college life.
When the time comes that you actually find someone who makes you willing to give up your single life, take it slow. The point of taking time off from serious dating was to make sure that you didn’t rush into anything that would turn out to be the same as before. You know what you’re looking for now, so make sure you throw out some ground rules. Be sure you both know what you’re getting into or else you’re going to wind up stuck in another relationship that’s going nowhere only to end months after it should have.
My recommendation to those just-out-of-a-relationship loners: don’t be sad about what you’ve lost… be glad about the freedom you now have to do whatever the hell you want. Stop wishing you could’ve made things work and think about all the new possibilities. Being in college is your time to explore all options both academically and socially. So, pick yourself up off the couch and get out there.
