To shave or not to shave… that, my pube-infested friends, is the question.
(Haha I said pube – I love my job!) Despite any shame or embarrassment one might have toward the taboo topic of pubic hair, let the truth be told – it’s hairy (duh), it’s scary (aahhhhh) and it’s, well, annoying as well! You feelin’ me on this one, kids? So, hold onto those curlies, and whip out that blade, as I challenge you, my devoted readers, to the ultimate mission: Operation Southern Comfort. You down?
Task 1 of The Mission:
Gathering your weapons
Pubic hair doesn’t discriminate against sexes, races or nationalities and is, therefore, deserving of a final extermination plan. Let the coarseness of your hair determine your weapon of choice. Should you pick a blade that’s too dull, however, you can be left with an itchy rash that looks more like a painful Herpes outbreak than a mere razor burn. So, choose your tool wisely, whether it be a weed-whacker, a scissor or a Gillette razor, and get ready to conquer the mysteries of the jungle once and for all.
Task 2 of The Mission:
Creating a tropical paradise
Prior to trimming your trunk/bush, it’s important to know the benefits associated with each. So, first of all, guys: trimming your pubes will make it look (at least) an inch (or two) bigger. So, what are you waiting for? Grab a mirror, and start clipping away at those strays. Before you know it, you’ll be showing women the true meaning of southern hospitality and moving on to task 3 of the Southern Comfort operation.
Now, ladies: where do I even begin? Guys have enough pressure on them to perform well, you really think they need a giant bush getting in the way (of their tongues)? I don’t think so. Forget that vertical line bull, it’s just that – a line. Shave it all, girlfriend.
Task 3 of The Mission:
Roughin’ It
There you have it – the truth about pubic hair. I don’t know why it’s such a taboo topic. I mean, we all have it. It’s just hair. Say it with me now, pppuuuuuubic haaaiiir. Now didn’t that feel good? I know it may sound like an earful, but be thankful; at least it’s not a mouthful!
