A Sicilian builder charged with dumping hazardous waste near the island’s capital of Palermo was recently transferred from prison to be placed under house arrest. Soon after the transfer, Santo Gambino, 30, broke his house arrest to visit the local police station and ask to be sent back to prison.The reason? Gambino would rather be shacked [...]
Teacher: Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field” Student: “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.” Teacher: “Why?” Student: “Ladies first.” Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. It saw the salad dressing! “You should be ashamed,” a father told his son, Andy. “When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used [...]
Hey Frank, I was mowing my parents’ lawn and somehow got poison ivy. I am a complete itchy mess. Any advice on how to get through this personal hell? Duane Get on some good steroids. DO NOT scratch then touch your wiener. FRANK FACT: Frank is immune to poison ivy. He once ate a leaf of it on [...]
The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding. Breaking of said rules is punishable by multiple kicks in the nuts by every other passenger during a given trip (including the driver). Section I: The Basic Rules 1. In order to call Shotgun, [...]
A man went to his local video rental store and asked the kid at the counter if he could get Batman Forever. “No,” said the employee. “You can only rent it for up to one week!” A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said to him, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible for [...]
July 4th may be the de facto National I’m-More-Patriotic-Than-You Day, but it’s your mission to drive that point home with the most over-the-top, spectacular display of patriotism anyone’s ever seen. And while the following is a complete farce, chances are you’ve come across several people who actually do this every year. Drive Home The Message Before there [...]
Fatness breads funniness! This kid was spotted at a local grocery store just last week. He’s about 12 years old, having his mother push him around like he can’t walk. The thing is, he can walk… the photo-taker saw him get up in the candy aisle to pick out his favorite sugar-filled sweet treats, then [...]
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself. Bring in potential “new” roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her and reply, “Oh, him/her? He/she won’t be [...]
When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule, what he means is that after he bills you, it’s financially hard to get back on your feet. Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller! Stanley Livingston, in deepest Africa, finds a cannibal restaurant. The specialty of the day is [...]
A graduate student, a business man and a biker were talking about gifts they had recently bought for their wives. The grad student said, “Last year, I got my wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas. If she didn’t like the necklace, hell, she had to love the trip!” “That’s nice,” said the [...]
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