Browsing all posts tagged under »How To«

How to Be a Hipster

→  December 5, 2011 0

You’re sick of being just another lemming in the pop culture crowd, doing as the teenyboppers do, believing as the useful idiots believe, and dressing like the Kardashian clones dress. When you’ve had it up to here with pedestrian “culture” there’s only one alternative; go counter-culture and become a hipster like the rest of us. That’s right, with the right look, the right attitude, and a heavy dose of intentional irony, you too can look like you fell off the L train on your way to Williamsburg. No idea what that means? You’re off to a bad start, bro.

Damage Control: How to handle last night’s mishaps

→  October 11, 2011 0

You’re only going out for a couple of drinks. Got to get up early tomorrow, you tell yourself. Yet somehow every time you make the conscious effort to not act like a drunken douche bag, you still wake up next to your cellmate, Big Bertha, or realize that the student who attempted to climb on top of the student union building was, in fact, you.

How To succeed with Passive-Aggression

→  October 6, 2011 0

By mastering the art of passive-aggressive warfare, you can solve many of your interpersonal conflicts without so much as a single confrontation.

Ouija Board Horror Stories

→  October 2, 2011 0

Although “Ouija” is trademarked by board game big shots Parker Brothers, the mystique of the Ouija board extends beyond the friendly confines of children’s games. By definition, an Ouija board is any flat panel that consists of letters, numbers and symbols, as well as a “planchette," which is the triangular decoder that moves around the board.

How to Land a Guy in 5 Sports Moves

→  September 9, 2011 0

You know the saying: The way into a man’s heart is through his stomach? Puh-lease, that only worked when women actually had the time (and the skill) to cook for a man. The real technique to landing a man is through sports.

How to Get More Money from your Parents

→  August 27, 2011 0

They pay for your college tuition and don’t ever let you forget it.

How To Make People Like You

→  July 1, 2011 1

Getting people to like you isn’t always easy, at least when you aren’t paying them. First impressions are important, especially when the encounter doesn’t include you pulling some big bills out of your wallet while you idle at a corner in a shady part of town. Think of this guide as a way to make your other inter-personal relationships as easy as picking up a transvestite streetwalker. If even that simple task poses a challenge for you, then perhaps you should start with our primer book, How to Make People Not Despise You in 60 Seconds.

Worst Things to Tell Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Worst Things to Tell Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

→  October 21, 2010 1

I didn’t forget your birthday; I just never knew the exact date. It’s in April, right? April or May, I know it’s during baseball season because I took you to a game one year for your birthday. I couldn’t lower the toilet seat. I just got finished peeing all over it so it was too wet [...]

How to: Prove To Everyone That You’re More American Than They are

How to: Prove To Everyone That You’re More American Than They are

→  July 2, 2010 0

July 4th may be the de facto National I’m-More-Patriotic-Than-You Day, but it’s your mission to drive that point home with the most over-the-top, spectacular display of patriotism anyone’s ever seen. And while the following is a complete farce, chances are you’ve come across several people who actually do this every year. Drive Home The Message Before there [...]

How To Survive Skydiving

→  February 17, 2010 0

Some people get a rush out of making prank calls to friends and neighbors… others need a lil’ more edge to satiate their hunger for life. But what happens when you get pushed over the edge and your thrill ride could turn into a possible death ride? Enter CT’s Survival Tip #569… Just Do It! Natural selection [...]