You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. If 1,000 painters worked for a 1,000 years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you. I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you. Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the [...]
Shortly after a breakup, I decided to join an online dating site. It was just before winter break, and I figured I could get back into the dating world even while I was at home with my family. A friend of mine was already on OkCupid and met a really great guy, so I thought “What the hay? If nothing else, it’ll at least be some entertainment.” Boy, was it entertaining.
by Brian Hodges If ever there was a time in your life when it’s damn near impossible to look like “The Man” on a date, it’s now. You have no money, no contacts, nothing going for you that might make others think you’re anything but the frail little boy you really are. But that shouldn’t stop [...]
My love for you burns like a dying phoenix. Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready. I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight? I’d like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets. If I were a stoplight, I’d turn red every [...]
By Rachel Sokol Men, listen up! Here’s some decoded information from LADIES… what they say, do, and really mean in order to get MEN to notice them! Pay attention to these obvious signs of flirtation. They may say one thing, but they really mean another! What She Says: “Hi! You’re Tommy’s (Insert any guy’s name) friend, right?” What She [...]
By Jessica DiGiacinto When it comes to dating, girls get a bad rap. Like it or not, a lot of people tend to characterize us as obsessive over-analyzers who dream about an engagement ring on the second date. Maybe some girls are like that, but I haven’t met many of them. Most of us are just [...]
By john scheck Sex sells. Ask anyone. I recently embarked on a six month campaign to make myself as sexy as humanly possible. After I had done everything humanly possible I enlisted the help of science to pursue as many inhuman/nonhuman/subhuman avenues to sexiness as are available to the American consumer. I wish that you could [...]
Before we begin, let’s clarify something. When we say dating an older man, we’re not talking about a freshman shtupping a senior. “MAN” is a title no boy earns until he’s lived on his own, established a career, survived at least one long-term relationship and stopped eating with plastic utensils. So we’re talking an age [...]
Popping your cherry. Giving your flower. Taking the one-way ticket out of Palmdale. Whatever tired euphemism you call it, losing your virginity can be a decision fraught with nerves and, depending on your religious affiliation, varying degrees of “when should I/who should I”? And despite what those same religions might tell you, there’s no single when or who that works for everyone. Here are some things to consider when it comes to cashing in your V-card.
Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me. Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as [...]
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