So, you want to be bound in wedded bliss and you’ve tried everything to build that lifetime full of precious memories, including:
- Spending enormous amounts of money on potential mates, only to find out that their eternal love for you lasts only as long as your eternal cash flow does.
- Spending countless hours surfing dating sites where people post glamour shots of themselves taken when they were 10 years younger and 50 pounds lighter.
- Pretending to be best friends with people you can’t stand because they have attractive friends.
- Claiming that you love Mozart, Hank Williams, Jr. or Jackson Pollack just because your potential mate is “into them.”
According to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, “marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, with 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available.” The USCIS also reports that “mail-order bride and e-mail correspondence services result in 4,000 to 6,000 marriages between U.S. men and foreign brides each year.” Maybe it has something to do with the language barrier and foreign sex…
If you decide to give the mail-order bride route a whirl, here are a few friendly tips that will help you avoid scammers, lest you end up with an aging beauty who’s in serious need of dentures, liposuction and a fifth colonoscopy.
Like any good college student (which, presumably, you’re not), start with doing some research. Get recommendations from trusted sources. Even if you feel confident that you’ve carefully researched an agency or individual, trust your instincts and err on the side of skepticism. Guard your money like Fort Knox until you find a legitimate service. Or you could just blow it all on the first piece of buyable trim you find on any one of those scam sites.
Other things you can do to ensure your future better half is worth every penny:
Require a photograph and be leery of pictures depicting suggestive poses. You’re trying to marry this person… not get a 10-minute lap dance from them.
Stay away from huge sites with thousands of women, as well as tiny sites with less than 500 potential mates. You’ll almost always be better off at a mid-size site with 2,000 to 4,000 hopeful brides. Besides… competition isn’t the ideal situation for someone relegated to ordering their mate from overseas.
Find out what “extra” services the agency is charging you for. You don’t want to dole out big bucks only to find that you unwillingly dropped a few grand on a sex change procedure beforehand.
Beware of sites offering only gorgeous brides-to-be. Let’s be real for a second… you can’t expect to buy your spouse and come away with a dime piece. That’s just being unreasonably greedy!
For more information about ordering your very own bride, visit http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_AppendixA.pdf.