PORTA POTTY CLEANER

Porta potties hardly classify as bathrooms.  It’s more like relieving yourself in the woods, except there are no woods, just thousands of others sweating in the sun at a music festival. Porta potties have to be one of the messiest places on earth. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, every time someone uses a porta potty, they must lose all sense of aim and personal hygiene. As if using one wasn’t bad enough, someone actually has to clean them after the event. Not much more description is needed.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE EMPLOYEE

Imagine having to kill a chicken thousands of times a day while standing in inches of its blood, only to leave at the end of  the day looking like a serial murderer version of Colonel Sanders. Well, this is  the life of a slaughterhouse employee who spends  the day butchering chickens. Apologies to anyone who just ate lunch, but I think it’s safe to say that your lunch break might just be a little more appetizing than theirs.

SEWER DIVER IN MEXICO CITY

Mexico City is one of the most polluted cities in the world, explaining why your spring break hotel was so cheap, right? Sewers throughout the city become clogged with garbage and bacteria that is probably advanced enough to eat you. To keep the people of Mexico City from having to live in what is in their sewers, divers must submerge themselves into that happy mix to unclog any potential backups in the system. And you thought mopping the bathroom after closing time was bad?  To anyone who will spend their summer killing chickens, cleaning porta potties or submerging themselves in the sewers below Mexico City, I sincerely apologize. As for the rest of you, well, your jobs are still probably bad, but I can’t fix that, so at least you got a free laugh out of it. Who would have thought, back in elementary school, you would be hoping for summer to end so you could get back to class?